Middle Life Love

I assume he cares for freedom

I assume he cares for light. 

With every breath I see him

And wonder if I am right. 

The dawning day folds back its wings,

I dare not hope for more,

While our love does languish

In this place of labored ways.

The memory of faster times,

Of richer hopes and loving dreams

Give way to stark reality ,

Like bare winter trees clearing a scene. 

But nestled in a chilled breast

Beat our hearts so strong and resilient,

Determined to find some kind of meaning,

And live long within it. 

Mary Kirkpatrick, 11-30-22

Photo credit: Miles Henderson 

Lost Boys

Lost Boys

Why is it that
All the Lost Boys
Come to find me
In the corners of my dreams,
When all I want to do is fly.

Needing and empty,
Wanting and unloved
They come to me like Wendy,
Seeking care, seeking love
But never wanting to leave,
to come with me.

Like Lords of the Flies
They beg me to run with their pack
To try to live a lie
Forget the part of me
That yearns for Home.

I want to fly
To be a part of their world and mine
Not lost,
Not Wendy,
But free to be Me.

The Itch

The Itch

That place on my back
I just can't scratch
The sensation that I sit with,
Reminds me of the price of freedom.

Sweet pain, unfortunate gift,
Tells me the truth
About the afterlife
Not the never ending pleasure or pain,
But the itch you can't scratch.

The after life
Of your control, of your rage,
The sliding down
From your gilded cage,

I'll take the itch
I cannot scratch
Over the wrath and your
Silent Pact.


Mary Kirkpatrick

Potential

Potential

Grey, dark skies
Loom over my consciousness
Fecund blooms await to open
In my soul
Like tight rose buds in June.

Bursting inside to become
Something outside
Resembling the technicolor
Dreams lingering just
Beneath the surface.

This low humming buzz
Ever present, an energy
That yearns for expression
Something holding at bay
This endless desire to Create.

Could it be,
That I am worthy
Of adding to this Universal
Tapestry of Truth?

Mary Kirkpatrick -2018

Prayer and Poem for Clearing

I'm sorry
Feel the weight
Of what's yours
What's theirs
What's ours.
Feel it, own it.

Forgive me.
Forgive everyone else,
Let go, be free,
Release yourself,
Release me.

So thankful
Gratitude for all
That is past, present,
Yet to come
No words, just welling up.

Love,
Widen the bubble,
Let it burst beyond
Your greatest capacity
Let it spread out, blanket the world
With your Joy.

Please, thank you, Amen.

M. Kirkpatrick, 2017

Craving Humanity

Craving Humanity

Parallel shadows
Haunting the days
Never letting light
In to blend or feed
The emptiness.

Ice cold stares
Passing on the pathways
Of commerce
Of life?

Waiting for just one
Melting heart
One warm smile
In the millions of
Automatons.

Craving humanity
In a machine world,
Feel the warm babe
Wriggling in my arms
Her eyes not yet cold.

Gaze down at
Hope in my hands
She won't be the same,
She will change.

-M. Kirkpatrick      2/5/17

The March

The March

Rhythm of this day
Fill me deeply
Let me move freely
Amongst my sisters.

Love, faith, hope,
Anger, sadness, loss,
 All felt as we walk
Forward into this uncertain time.

Nothing can compare
To connection and
True intentions
The basic right to be
free, to be me.

-M. Kirkpatrick, 1/15/17

Morass

I feel as heavy
as my heart
feels me.
Don't know how to
Lift these eyes
These dreams.

Floundering through
the halls of destiny,
Wasting time battling
this imaginary
ghost,
That haunts my memory
and robs me blind.

Steals away the
Precious present
Drags me back into
a Morass of destruction.
Where creative freedom
awaits me.

Let the mind catch light
Find its breath of wind
To fan the flames of
life right now
On purpose, here
Painful, dirty, but real.

Mary K. Feb 2015

Broken Girl

Broken girl,
Why can't you fix yourself?
With bits of pink paper
And wonder glue?

That crack in your soul
Is leaking love and sunshine
And slowly you're
Filling up with darkness again.

You reach for the stars
On your knees
Hope your endless gratitude
Will stem the raging sea.

Rising up inside you
Cold truths and empty promises
Threaten to replace
Your carefully constructed peace.

God, The Universe, Enlightened Ones,
Try to hold you up
Saving you from your
Senseless Self.

M. Kirkpatrick 2011

Spiritual Sponge

This heart
A spiritual sponge
Wrings out
Yet another memory.

Wishing it could
Just dry out
In the sunshine
Of this moment.

Don't let tears
Fill it up again
Until it is heavy
With the painful salt of life.

Melancholy always feels
More real than joy
Pain reverberates
While joy evaporates.

This must end
No more hearts can rend,
Falling leaves will decay
Move on, do not revisit that day.

M.Kirkpatrick  2011

Faithless

Faithless friend
Abandoned for greener
Brighter youth
Songs of freedom
Call you away
I look where you were
in self pity, regret.

Once thought
You a Savior
A personal prophet
Of hope and persuasion
Now it is clear
I mangled my own vision.

It wasn't fair I guess
To raise you higher
Than you could see yourself
Even if I know
It is where you could go.

Grateful too soon,
Extended so far
I brittley broke
Shattered into a million
Pieces of my own
failed expectations.

Now shuttered up
Protected and plain
Safely walking in circles
Within these boundaries
The world has taught me
are appropriate.

Sighing heavily
Don't know what or who
To hope for or believe in
Nobody wants that burden.
Nobody wants my faith.
It is just me and God. Maybe.

Song Man

Song man
You light up the world
Smile as you raise your head
Grimace as you bow it again.

Riffs ripple
Like vibrant springs
In fall running from a freeze
Let them tumble
From your strings.

Don't stop playing
Your music is
Praying
Cannot envy you
Your passion is God given.

So play
Song man
Play until your heart
Is full again.

Some poems I wrote, posted, took down, and am now putting back up...don't ask.

Longing
I attempted to fill my days
With friends and food
And light and work
But I lingered in my mind.

I fought to forget
Willed myself positive
Fresh, anew, focused
And yet languid time
Dragged and pulled me down.

While you flashed
With happiness and glee
I stayed quiet
Alone, but not so lonely.

The end of this
Imposed solitude
Is coming,
And I yearn for
The wave of warmth
Your smile will bring.

If the mere thought
of you brings me joy
God bless me
With your return.
And I will be
Once again alive.

The Well

I came to you
For sustenance
Gazed into your depths
Dark waters reflected me.

I poured my pain
Desires, despairs
Into the heart
Waiting for you
To overflow, to reject
what I gave.

But the well
So deep, endless
Held its will
Shared its bounty
Filled me
With spirit and life.

I did not want
To greedily drink
This water of life
Yet I could not
walk away empty.

It is painful
To not know
Its Source
I am not a part
of that deep, dark world.

Still I gratefully
Partook, praying
Some day the well
Would find me full.

Mary K. 4/18/07 (edited 5/13/07)

Why

What binds us together
I dare not know
Your light found me
As I entered a phase of sorrow.

You taught me hope
When all I could think
Was loss, darkness,
And my own selfish pain.

A divine gift
You do not question
You just thank God
And continue down
A better path.

We look for our purpose
Mine, I don't know yet
But I know you were
Part of me finding it.

Why did He put me
In your path?
That is for you to find
I only hope you
Don't turn back or regret.

You have taught me
With your quiet strength
Your goodness,
To create, to intend,
To be grateful.

What kind of Universe
Would this be
If I could not give
you back
A part of me.

Just these words,
Let them wash
Over your soul,
Remind you that
Maybe we don't have to know.

Mary K. 5/5/07 (edited from the original)

Mary's Poetry Blog

I'm moving my poetry to a new blog just for the poetry so it's not mixed in with my stuff on the Law of Attraction.