Dangerously Complete

A stranger
Knew my secret longing,
And he showed me
Reflected my shadows and chasms.

Hunger and strife
Leads me to claw
To scratch out
A desperate answer
Trying to heal.

My body is cut open
Flayed apart
Wounded for the sake
Of sacred examination.

If only some surgeon
Could cut out what is missing
And put back what
Is full and right.

Closed back up
I am again still walking wounded
Craving and scratching, hoping,
For someone to put me out of misery.

The stranger is a stranger
He knows not
What he does
In the name of love.

Faithless

Faithless friend
Abandoned for greener
Brighter youth
Songs of freedom
Call you away
I look where you were
in self pity, regret.

Once thought
You a Savior
A personal prophet
Of hope and persuasion
Now it is clear
I mangled my own vision.

It wasn't fair I guess
To raise you higher
Than you could see yourself
Even if I know
It is where you could go.

Grateful too soon,
Extended so far
I brittley broke
Shattered into a million
Pieces of my own
failed expectations.

Now shuttered up
Protected and plain
Safely walking in circles
Within these boundaries
The world has taught me
are appropriate.

Sighing heavily
Don't know what or who
To hope for or believe in
Nobody wants that burden.
Nobody wants my faith.
It is just me and God. Maybe.

Song Man

Song man
You light up the world
Smile as you raise your head
Grimace as you bow it again.

Riffs ripple
Like vibrant springs
In fall running from a freeze
Let them tumble
From your strings.

Don't stop playing
Your music is
Praying
Cannot envy you
Your passion is God given.

So play
Song man
Play until your heart
Is full again.

Forget

I will forget
How you did heal me
And you will forget
How you felt needed.

I will forget
How I felt beautiful
You will forget
That you felt strong.

I will forget
What attention feels like
You will forget
Sharing your weaknesses too.

We will forget
So that we can go on
Distant passing smiles
Make this effort to forget
Almost...bearable.

Mary K. 2007

Courtly Love

I paint you pictures
I sing you songs
But you only see numbers
And hear noise.

A compromise
I listen to your numbers
You look at my beauty
We somehow
Make something new.

My heart races
Yours is steady
Like bedrock
I shift like sand
You anchor the
world.

Different souls
Finding solace somehow
In steady gazed moments
And treasured soft kisses.

How will things
Find us tomorrow
You with your loyal look
Me like a babbling brook
You'll float in my liquid self
And I'll hold on to you
for dear life.

We'll somehow make it
Together
As man and wife.

American Woman VIII

I never wanted
For anyone to
Find me
I could never hide or
Manipulate.

I was out there
Take me.
Or leave me
And I was left.

Alone and craving
Hunger so deep
I could not run from it
I could only seek more.

Greedy for love and attention
Oh how to quell it
Oh please, let a little
Be enough.

American Woman VII

Working for the Man
Feeling small
Like an ant
Without a leader
To follow home.

What drives the Man
What pulls us
To be exploited
Exsponged of self worth.

Coming back for more
Hungry for pain
Abuse from a not so fatherly
Neglectful Establishment.

A Tree in Winter

What does the tree

Do when it
Finds itself laid

Naked to the winter winds.

Folds in upon
Its dark self
Closing tightly on
What yearning life remains
Inside.

Waiting, shaking

Through winds and
Changing, ruptured skies,
Ice covered, frozen

Trapped.

Spring must come

It wills it to bring

Warmth, allowing,
Finally to unfurl its

Green virgin leaves.

Opens itself willingly
To the deserving Sun
The tree feels joy
Knowing it lives again.

Price of Your Eyes

An oldie that I wrote way back when...


The Price of Your Eyes

I looked through everyone
But when I looked at you
I stopped.
They mirrored my gaze
An ancient English maze
The walls of time and my mortality
Melted in the face of such
A knowing look.

There were echoes there
Within your eyes
Of some time past
A time that preceeded every last
Year and century.
I shook inside as if chilled and
My heart so raw stood bare.

I don't know what to say
I am not mad
But when our eyes meet
In some future unfamiliar street
I'll know the depths I've known before
In another time, another place, another day.

MK 1997

Some poems I wrote, posted, took down, and am now putting back up...don't ask.

Longing
I attempted to fill my days
With friends and food
And light and work
But I lingered in my mind.

I fought to forget
Willed myself positive
Fresh, anew, focused
And yet languid time
Dragged and pulled me down.

While you flashed
With happiness and glee
I stayed quiet
Alone, but not so lonely.

The end of this
Imposed solitude
Is coming,
And I yearn for
The wave of warmth
Your smile will bring.

If the mere thought
of you brings me joy
God bless me
With your return.
And I will be
Once again alive.

The Well

I came to you
For sustenance
Gazed into your depths
Dark waters reflected me.

I poured my pain
Desires, despairs
Into the heart
Waiting for you
To overflow, to reject
what I gave.

But the well
So deep, endless
Held its will
Shared its bounty
Filled me
With spirit and life.

I did not want
To greedily drink
This water of life
Yet I could not
walk away empty.

It is painful
To not know
Its Source
I am not a part
of that deep, dark world.

Still I gratefully
Partook, praying
Some day the well
Would find me full.

Mary K. 4/18/07 (edited 5/13/07)

Why

What binds us together
I dare not know
Your light found me
As I entered a phase of sorrow.

You taught me hope
When all I could think
Was loss, darkness,
And my own selfish pain.

A divine gift
You do not question
You just thank God
And continue down
A better path.

We look for our purpose
Mine, I don't know yet
But I know you were
Part of me finding it.

Why did He put me
In your path?
That is for you to find
I only hope you
Don't turn back or regret.

You have taught me
With your quiet strength
Your goodness,
To create, to intend,
To be grateful.

What kind of Universe
Would this be
If I could not give
you back
A part of me.

Just these words,
Let them wash
Over your soul,
Remind you that
Maybe we don't have to know.

Mary K. 5/5/07 (edited from the original)

Poetry Links

Here are links to my poetry pages: http://www.geocities.com/fiennesite/2005-2007.htm http://www.geocities.com/fiennesite/2002-2003.htm Thanks for checking them out. If you want to comment on one, feel free to copy and paste it into a comment box. Thanks, Mary

Mary's Poetry Blog

I'm moving my poetry to a new blog just for the poetry so it's not mixed in with my stuff on the Law of Attraction.