Winter Hope

 

Brittle wind cracks my bones

Nothing like the hollow

Leaf filled heart.

I carry in me a secret

That eats away at every

Good part of me.

Naked wooden fingers

Cut silhouettes across the

Evening sky

Sad shadows of Summer,

Writing reality til Spring.

This hollow womb

Done wishing, yet still

Hoping the mirror of that hope

Will wind its way home

Someday to complete Tomorrow.

Mary Kirkpatrick, 12-23-24

Star

 Would you recommend me

Would you defend me

In the world that is now yours and

Not mine.

Could we say we're sorry

Return to some semblance of glory

When we were a mutual

Appreciation society?

The chasm between says no,

The hope that springs from this space

With love glows

Can you see it's dim light, beyond the brightness of the Stars around you?

Mary Kirkpatrick 2/23/23

the healing.

The healing.

A path, rocky, strewn with jagged stones

Forced to tip toe barefoot

Even though...I chose it.

Restless, bored, tip toe on.

A dappled ray of sunshine,

Mesmerizing, peaceful, briefly loving,

Suddenly shadows, spectres, solipsistic pity,

Stop.

Wait.

Breathe.

Another branch of the path,

Passing near the ocean, the bath of nature,

How the waves can wash away the day's fretfulness,

A drowning, salty, caress.

Back, back to the twisting road of soul,

Chosen, yes, a choice, the will that was given in spite of the wholeness in spirit.

Let it ride, let it wave, let it weave,

Knowing the going home

Is to heal.

Mary Kirkpatrick 2/23/23

Middle Life Love

I assume he cares for freedom

I assume he cares for light. 

With every breath I see him

And wonder if I am right. 

The dawning day folds back its wings,

I dare not hope for more,

While our love does languish

In this place of labored ways.

The memory of faster times,

Of richer hopes and loving dreams

Give way to stark reality ,

Like bare winter trees clearing a scene. 

But nestled in a chilled breast

Beat our hearts so strong and resilient,

Determined to find some kind of meaning,

And live long within it. 

Mary Kirkpatrick, 11-30-22

Photo credit: Miles Henderson 

Twisted Fate

Fickle fiend,
You find me once again
In need, in want,
Clinging to this world
Just barely with my sanity.

There is no cure
For the existence
The loneliness we all bear
In this adventure
We call life.

Yet I try so hard
To convince myself
This shred of free will
Of choice means something.
Indeed I feel like a pawn.

A toy for phantom forces
To bat across the Universe
With the will of a 2 year old
Playing with a ball
For two minutes then moving on.

Choice, I laugh and then sigh,
Because as Fate would have it,
Maybe it is my true destiny
To serve, to bow down, to pray
To play on the field of God's whim.

M. Kirkpatrick,  2019

This One Night

This One Night

Snow..falling..whitening the dark
Shadows that creep around
The skinny trees
Icy fingers of black grabbing
and cloying.

Warm fire,
Hope, connection, tingling toes,
Flame licked coals,
Wanting to stay in this one place
Forever, singing a song.

Bright stars in the moonlit sky,
Let us forget in what tomorrow lies,
Kiss, and hold each other tight,
Enjoy this moment. This one night.

Nightingale

Nightingale, please call to me,
Reach out through the darkness
With your clear, beautiful song,
Convince me there is truth in
your wooing words.

Let me know your purpose,
Find me with your most
Righteous intention.
Draw me to you
With praise, honor, and hope.

Sing to me oh Nightingale,
Let me dream of what once was,
And what is yet to come,
All in one precious moment.
Do not let me believe it is a dream.

Find me in my darkness,
Light up my heart
With your night music,
So I may believe again,
In You and In Love.

Mary

Lost Boys

Lost Boys

Why is it that
All the Lost Boys
Come to find me
In the corners of my dreams,
When all I want to do is fly.

Needing and empty,
Wanting and unloved
They come to me like Wendy,
Seeking care, seeking love
But never wanting to leave,
to come with me.

Like Lords of the Flies
They beg me to run with their pack
To try to live a lie
Forget the part of me
That yearns for Home.

I want to fly
To be a part of their world and mine
Not lost,
Not Wendy,
But free to be Me.

Second Chances

Finding you,

I am found,
Even though it may be
Our second time around.

Feeling like
We are woven
Together in the
Tapestry of Time.

Tight but comfortable,
Easy, familiar, like a dream
Your lips haunted me for decades
but now I am awake.

Nothing to miss
Nothing to fear
Our love is so true
So infinite and clear.

I thank you
With each breath
I love you... til death
Find me in the ether now
Where we are born forever.

Mary Kirkpatrick

The Itch

The Itch

That place on my back
I just can't scratch
The sensation that I sit with,
Reminds me of the price of freedom.

Sweet pain, unfortunate gift,
Tells me the truth
About the afterlife
Not the never ending pleasure or pain,
But the itch you can't scratch.

The after life
Of your control, of your rage,
The sliding down
From your gilded cage,

I'll take the itch
I cannot scratch
Over the wrath and your
Silent Pact.


Mary Kirkpatrick

Hungry Ghost

Hungry Ghost

I am aching inside,

Trapped in the realm of the hungry ghost,

Thrust upon this material plane,

Where that hunger persists,

Deepening into the hollow wonder

of a paucity of being.

Where do I deserve

Love, honor, worthiness

Not here.

Used, abused, erased, accused,

I race to find my blackened visage

Like Narcissus in the murky Water of Life.

The weight of now pulls me down,

What awaits this empty shell

Compassion cannot come from one direction,

Truly there must be a safer plane than this

A dimension free of the pain of your indifference.

Mary K. 2018

Potential

Potential

Grey, dark skies
Loom over my consciousness
Fecund blooms await to open
In my soul
Like tight rose buds in June.

Bursting inside to become
Something outside
Resembling the technicolor
Dreams lingering just
Beneath the surface.

This low humming buzz
Ever present, an energy
That yearns for expression
Something holding at bay
This endless desire to Create.

Could it be,
That I am worthy
Of adding to this Universal
Tapestry of Truth?

Mary Kirkpatrick -2018

Prayer and Poem for Clearing

I'm sorry
Feel the weight
Of what's yours
What's theirs
What's ours.
Feel it, own it.

Forgive me.
Forgive everyone else,
Let go, be free,
Release yourself,
Release me.

So thankful
Gratitude for all
That is past, present,
Yet to come
No words, just welling up.

Love,
Widen the bubble,
Let it burst beyond
Your greatest capacity
Let it spread out, blanket the world
With your Joy.

Please, thank you, Amen.

M. Kirkpatrick, 2017

The Womb

The Womb

This empty sacred space,
Once filled,
Once thriving,
Aches.

The fertile field,
The warm room
That held a most precious
Soul that is gone.

Stark and hollow,
Surrounded by a whirlwind
Of hope, doubt, sadness
It stares back questioningly.

What is next,
What can grow there,
With love, compassion, warmth,
...me.

-M. Kirkpatrick 3/31/17 (inspired by my friend Mia Merin's painting).

Craving Humanity

Craving Humanity

Parallel shadows
Haunting the days
Never letting light
In to blend or feed
The emptiness.

Ice cold stares
Passing on the pathways
Of commerce
Of life?

Waiting for just one
Melting heart
One warm smile
In the millions of
Automatons.

Craving humanity
In a machine world,
Feel the warm babe
Wriggling in my arms
Her eyes not yet cold.

Gaze down at
Hope in my hands
She won't be the same,
She will change.

-M. Kirkpatrick      2/5/17

The March

The March

Rhythm of this day
Fill me deeply
Let me move freely
Amongst my sisters.

Love, faith, hope,
Anger, sadness, loss,
 All felt as we walk
Forward into this uncertain time.

Nothing can compare
To connection and
True intentions
The basic right to be
free, to be me.

-M. Kirkpatrick, 1/15/17

Common Ground

What darkness we found
When we weren't even looking,
It fell on us like
A suffocating blanket.

Longing for the glow
Of one candle of hope
Lit by the soul,
The wish of one lost
child.

There must be light
Even when there seems
No dawn is coming soon,
Some internal spark
To keep us going.
What can we do?

How can we fight?
Are we on the side
Of wrong or right?
Is the Universe correcting
Eons of waste and what-not?

Is It telling us we are
Ungrateful bastards?
Will this end in a hailstorm
of hate and war?
Can't we find love
and common ground
Anymore?

Mary Kirkpatrick 1-29-2017

My Guru

My Guru

Spirit I feel
Connected for lifetimes
My heart binds to yours
An energy that flows,
Knowing no bounds.

Soul twin, Inspire me,
Love me as I am
With this tormented body
That longs for one connection,
One spark to light the fire within.

I cannot worship you,
I can love you
Honestly, clearly, intentionally,
I can trade pain and pride
For ecstasy and humility.

My guru, my light,
Shall we lead each other
Into a vast Universe
Where we know we will
Finally be as one?

Mary K.  8-22-16

Mythic Precipice

Mythic Precipice

The edge of destiny
Feels like waiting
To fall in a pit of fire
Or float off to a cloudy dream.

Which choice will bring
Which fate to be,
Let go of fear
And just breathe.

Whichever awaits
Burned and bled
Or whole and safe
Still part of some larger,
encompassing force.

We will fall
or we will fly
Off this mythic precipice
Into the arms of life.

Mary K. 2016

Pitter Pat - a Cat Poem on Feminism

Diamond and Lucy, my Pitter Pat Cats ;-)

Pitter Pat

The serious black cat
Climbs up on my tummy
To pitter pat
The fat, and hypnotize
Herself as her shoulders
Roll, left, right, left right,
Her kitty toes curling
Then flexing, making
Sure her claws stay hidden.

I stroke her back
Scratch her head, her ears
Her purrs of pleasure
Vibrating from her twitching
back
Down to her toes
Which continue to need to
knead
The flesh that I disdain
She loves.

Mary K. 2016